weight gain

227.8 – MRI Today

About the same weight as yesterday. Admittedly we were out running errands and decided to eat Jimmie John’s for dinner. Thinking the sodium in that meal caused me to retain a little water and hence the .2 lb weight gain. Or it could just be my scale which tends to fluctuate its readings a little here and there.  Nonetheless, the onus is strictly on diet today.

I’m having an MRI on my right knee today. I hurt it playing basketball down in Gainesville 9 days ago. Landed awkwardly, kind of buckled. It feels tight and though it’s not really hurting continuously, when I walk it often locks up which shoots pain down the front of my leg from my knee to my foot. It also hurts to kneel down on that knee, so I’m really worried that surgery is going to be my only option. Guess I’ll find out in a couple of days when the doctor has a chance to review my MRI.

It has been depressing not being able to run or use the elliptical at YouFit. The weather has cooled things down outside and now it is so nice outdoors – it’s the perfect time to do some running before the harsh, colder winter air moves in and I won’t want to even step outside, much less go running.

Edit: MRI completed. Now I play the waiting game until I hear the news from the doctor
wpid-IMAG0156.jpg

228.4 – Official Weigh-In

wpid-IMAG0154_1.jpgSo I forgot to post my weigh in yesterday and I’m sorry that I did. Even though it wasn’t good, it was 226.0. Yesterday we had some friends over for dinner and to watch the Florida v. Kentucky game. We ate BBQ pork sliders, coleslaw, baked beans, and mac & cheese. In addition to that my buddy Will and I probably put down 10 beers a piece. What’s that spell? D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. Woke up this morning a full 2 and a half pounds heavier than yesterday. I have the blessing/curse of being able to lose weight very quickly but also able to gain it just as fast.

The other day Rick posted something on my blog or texted me (I can’t remember), but he said something about how I initially created this blog for myself. I was doing it so Rick could see where I was and I could go back and read where I’ve been and what I was doing.  Somewhere along the way I was surprised to find that people were actually starting to follow my blog. Wasn’t sure how they even found it (still not sure to be honest), but I kept blogging as if it was just Rick and I reading it. Soon I hit 50 followers and I think I started blogging more for what I thought people wanted to read. Before long I crossed the 100 follower threshold and I had some personal things come up that all contributed to me losing sight of what this Fit Gator blog was really about. Me.

Rick was also right when he said that this was no longer a fitness/weight loss blog, but just a blog about some guy living his life. Not trying to get better or to lose weight or anything. That really hit home. I wasn’t exercising much. Wasn’t watching what I ate. Didn’t track calories. And basically I was just doing all the crap I used to do before I began my fitness journey.

Now my knee is jacked up. MRI is scheduled for Tuesday. Fearing that I may need surgery. My knee doesn’t hurt too much, but when I walk, it is a little tender, but what really gets me is when I’m walking and it locks up on me. I get a shooting pain from my knee down to my foot and it literally stops me in my tracks. It’s depressing because I see my weight creeping up higher and higher and now I can’t do any cardio. “What Next?” I think. Seems like I can’t catch a break.

But this blog is about rising above all this. Go back and read what is 1fitgator in the links above. It’s as much, if not more, about the mental struggles of overcoming obstacles as it is the physical ones. I need to beat this. So what… I can’t run or get on the elliptical. Ok. What can I do? well I can weight train – I can build my muscles and still burn calories. I can also quit eating shit. That’s priority #1. Stop the bleeding. Reverse the trend.

So I will need to be meticulous about inputting everything I eat into my fitness pal app. Track all my calories. I’ll continue to set my daily calories as “Weight x 8” but with the exception of if I’m still hungry between meals, that I can eat a piece of fruit. My daily calories based on today’s weigh in are about 1827. If I eat a couple extra pieces of fruit in addition to this, my daily intake will only be about 2000-2200 cals which is still low enough to help me lose weight.  By adding in the “optional fruit” I won’t be as hungry by the next time I eat a meal and therefore won’t get lazy and eat crap.

Sacrifice. Dedication. Victory.

225.4 -Weigh In

image

Cleaning it up! This morning’s breakfast – Eggs, Oatmeal, & Water. Check out my nutrition under the Diet Hawk link

My weight is surprisingly high this morning. I’m not surprised that it’s up, but am surprised at how much. Yesterday I was up to 223.6. Why is my weight so high? I have to disclose that I haven’t been trying to hard lately. Back to half-assing things – diet, exercise, dedication… I went for broke on Monday and had Panda Express for lunch. I added up the calories based on their website nutrition to see exactly how bad it really was…. Wow it was really bad. Over 1700 calories! just for lunch! I only have around 1750 total daily calories allotted to me. Last night we had pizza and soda for dinner. Nothing but crap…

A major problem that I have is that I have a “Perfectionist” attitude. You’re probably thinking, “Some one with a perfectionist attitude would strive for perfection and lose weight, not gain it” right? My problem is that I’m all-or-nothing, which is bad. You see, I can eat well in the morning, maybe even eat well for lunch, but if I screw up and eat something crappy later, then my mind thinks “Oh well, today’s shot – You might as well eat whatever you want and don’t exercise because it won’t matter. Try again tomorrow.” It’s what kept me fat for so many years.

In addition to that, I’m heading back down to Hogtown this weekend for the Tennessee/Florida matchup for a guy’s weekend with my buddies Rick and Will. I know, as it always is, this weekend will be rife with beer, chicken wings, and who knows what else. Yes, it’s going to be hella fun, but then my brain goes into overdrive again…” Hey you’re going down to Gainesville for guy’s weekend. You’re going to ingest a shit ton of calories. Why even worry about getting back into shape and losing weight until that weekend is over.” It’s quite defeating.

Rick and I spoke about it. He uses logic – “eat well until that weekend, then get back at it afterward. That way you only have one bad weekend.” (I’m paraphrasing here). As much as the devil on my shoulder tries to justify my weak ass approach to procrastinating, I can’t win this argument. Remember… Tomorrow Never Comes. There will always be something else coming up. I must persevere. So I’m forcing myself to clean up my diet, even if it is just for the next couple days before Guy’s Weekend.  I restarted Focus T25 (a Beachbody Fitness Program similar to Insanity) on Monday, but I haven’t run in three weeks! Three weeks! I can’t believe it. My wife started a new job recently and she’s working longer hours. She’s pretty tired at night, so we don’t always see eye-to-eye about me leaving for an hour to run the neighborhood while the kids are still awake. I have to work on getting them to bed earlier or simply sacrificing sleep and running late at night like I used to. I must get that type of dedication back.

By the way, for those of you who have noticed me calling Gainesville “Hogtown” every once in a while but don’t know why… here you go.

Hogtown_Settlement_Historical_Marker_jpeg

Hogtown. Click to enlarge pic.

220.0 – What Now?

image

So I weighed in at an astonishing two-hundred and twenty pounds this morning. I’m well off my target weights and somewhat spiraling out of control. I told myself I’d never let my weight get back into the 220’s, yet here I sit.

My diet has been shit lately (of course). It’s no big mystery how I gain weight back or how I stall my weight loss. All I have to do is look at what I’ve been eating. Laziness and complacency have been my biggest enemies.

As I’ve said in recent posts, the FitBet was supposed to create a sense of urgency to lose weight, but as I got behind on my weight loss, it became obvious that I won’t win the bet. Now I’m in limbo. I still want to lose the weight and get back to being fit, but I no longer have that beacon guiding me. It’s kind of like going to college but not knowing what you want to do with your life. You take some classes here and there to make it feel like you’re doing something, but you’re really just spinning your wheels because you don’t have that ultimate goal to guide your path.

It’s funny, because in a recent post I thought the constant reminder of the clock ticking and counting down to a deadline was too stressful, but it seems that’s exactly what I really need.

What’s my ultimate goal? I’m not really sure any more. I know I’d like to get my weight down to around 175. I’d like to be able to run races more often – not necessarily to compete against other people, but to set PRs for myself – although I would like to one day be competitive against Rick again. 

There are still many other fitness goals that I’d like to achieve (look under the tab “Gator Strong” above), but without an attainable fitness bet pushing me, I’m stuck taking classes without a major, so to speak. It’s not fair for me to ask Rick to postpone the FitBet Deadline again. He’s done about everything he can do to motivate me.

I had a major setback when my mother passed away, and it’s been tough getting back on the horse, although I do feel that I’m not that far away. I’m teetering. I just need that extra little Push. That incentive that will fire me up again. In the back of my mind I feel like I’ll ultimately reach my fitness goals, but without a time urgency (like FitBet) reminding me to “Get up and Go!” I’m simply continuing to slack and put it off like I had been doing for years leading up to the start of this blog.

Hoping to find resolution soon…

218.8 – A New Beginning?

My weight has remained stagnant for several weeks now. Just teetering below the dreaded 220 mark. I’ve done just enough to make sure to not cross that barrier again, but not nearly enough to start losing the fat on a regular basis like I was early on in my Fit Gator journey. I really wanted to get under 200 lbs for my trip to Gainesville, but that is fast approaching in only 15 days. Blink and it will be here before you know it.

I wasn’t really sure why I’m not losing weight. I mean, yeah, I know physically it’s because of poor nutritional choices and not exercising as much as I should. But I was trying to go deeper. To figure out what mental block has been holding me back. Where is the drive and determination that I used to have? Where has that desire to be the Fit Gator gone?

Some days I have it – that spark. I’ll eat well and exercise my ass off.  I’ll lose a couple of pounds and breathe a sigh of relief, “I can still do this.”, Other days I don’t have it.  I don’t get enough sleep and I get super lazy and complacent. I don’t prepare or plan out my meals so I eat crap like Subway or Chick-Fil-A. And because I’m so sluggish, I’ll down a Coke in hopes that the caffeine will perk me up. But the sugar rush usually gets me crashing about the time I’m home from work and need to do my Insanity workout. I do the workouts, but often I’m so lethargic that I’ll half-ass them, taking unauthorized breaks when I probably don’t really need to – definitely not ‘digging deeper’ as Shaun T yells at me to do. Then I’ll skip my late night cardio sessions. All this usually leads to a small weight gain the next morning. I see 220 approaching and I force myself to dial it back to make sure I never weigh that much ever again.

On a positive note, I guess that’s better than it was, when there were many more days that I didn’t have any motivation than when I did.  But “better than I was” is far from where I need to be. It’s not good enough. It’s still shit. Ah, but there is light at the end of this tunnel…

I had a good talk with my wife Rachel the other night. We analyzed the mental barriers that have been holding me back and how to break through them. We acknowledged that deep within me, that flame of desire still burns. The Fit Bet, the side bets, all of that was there to help motivate me, but they’ve come to discourage me. The countdown of days until the deadline, which was supposed to create a sense of urgency, has ultimately backfired.

Inside my mind, knowing how far behind I got on my weight loss after my mother passed, has caused me to think very negatively. Like “Why even try? There’s physically no way a 40-year-old man can lose that amount of weight in this remaining amount of time.” So I talk myself out of exercising. I talk myself into eating fast food. “I can’t win the bet, so why try?” But Rachel helped me see the big picture. This isn’t about buying Rick some beer or wearing a stupid t-shirt. This isn’t about just hitting a goal weight. This is about getting healthy. This is about adding years to my life. This is about being a role model for my kids. This is about a lifestyle change. This is about living!

SDV.

218.6 – Danger, Will Robinson

Warning!…  Warning!…  Danger, Will Robinson! 

danger-will-robinson2

After getting my weight as low as 205 and on the precipice of breaking back into the 100’s [Onederland] for the first time in nearly a decade and a half, I have dramatically put back on the weight. The reason can be summed up in three words: Diet, diet, diet. I weighed in on Tuesday (didn’t post it) at 214.2. Forgot to weigh in yesterday and last night Rachel and I made the not-so-smart decision to eat Hibachi from a local Japanese steakhouse. I’m sure I ate way too much (calorie wise) and the food is no doubt loaded with sodium.

So here I am … instead of breaking new ground into new frontiers, I’ve lost some serious ground. I’ve fallen off the edge of the fitness cliff, and I’m hanging precariously by a small vine (of hope). I need to stop the bleeding now. Once and for all.

Lately, breakfast has been the issue. I have to eat early since I work at 6am. I have been eating either cereal or PB&J toast with Orange Juice.  Then by 8am I’m usually starving again. Why? Because I’m not ingesting very much protein which helps to keep one fuller longer. Lots of carbs which I apparently burn right through. So then at 8 (I try to hold off until at least 9), I must eat some sort of snack. It used to be a protein bar, but I got burned out on eating those (they taste like crap after a while). So lately I’ve been eating some peanut butter crackers and a Coke (damn you evil soda). More carbs, no protein. As you can guess, that also doesn’t keep me full for long.

By the time my lunch break rolls around (usually around 11:30) I’m starving again. I get in my car and contemplate having to go to my house and take the time associated with actually make something healthy, but the growls from my stomach and mild nausea from being slightly hypoglycemic usually cause me to head to a nearby restaurant instead. It’s quicker to satiate my appetite and hunger. And although I’ve been trying to avoid the usual pitfalls of fast food like McDonald’s or Zaxby’s I do find myself getting Subway or Chick-Fil-A. But I haven’t been stringent about making those meals healthy. At Subway, I’ll generally get chips and a big sweet tea with what is usually a 6″ Tuna on wheat (But sometimes I opt for a foot long – although when that happens, I usually get full after eating about 75% of it).

Then I get off work at 3 and head home to do my Insanity workout. But the Insanity workouts are tough so I eat something for an afternoon snack, usually like a Nutragrain bar or something to give me a quick boost of energy. More carbs, no protein.

So now it’s 4:30. Workout is over. I’ve been up since 5am (likely went to bed too late, 11p or later as usual). I’ve worked all day til 3. I’ve worked out til 4:30. Then I have to pick up my daughter from camp. Home by 5. I’m exhausted, tired. Plop down on the couch to hang with my daughter for a few minutes and to actually take a much needed break. 5:30 hits and my wife is off work and heading to daycare to pick up our other daughter. “What’s for dinner?” she asks. Hell, I don’t know… I’m tired, and much like I do at lunch, the motivation to take the time to cook a healthy meal after my day so far seems quite unappealing. So what do we do? We order Hibachi. Ugh… I can hear me getting fatter just by talking about this…

Dinner’s over. Kids need to be bathed. Laundry needs to be done. Rooms need to be picked up. Dishes washed. Trash taken out… The list continues. Now it’s pushing 9 pm. Kids need to go to sleep, but fight and argue to stay awake and play. I really need to incorporate my night-time cardio workout that seemed to work so well for me – even if it’s now just to counter some of the negative effects I’ve caused by eating poorly. I am literally fighting to simply stay the same weight and not gain weight, don’t even think about losing weight at this pace.

But now more often than not, the late night cardio doesn’t materialize. Since I go to work so early, when the rest of my family sleeps, my wife is solely responsible for getting the kids up, fed, and off to their respective places-o-fun for the day. Often it’s a struggle for her just to make it to her job on time.  I can’t justify not helping her after dinner, cleaning up and helping with the chores which includes making sure the kids are bathed, teeth brushed and asleep. It’s not fair to her. She deals with the arguing and struggles by herself in the morning. Kendall, the eight year old is a piece of cake. She’s tired and wants to go to bed by 9:30 on her own. Drew, our three-year old wants to party until the sun comes up. We literally have to make sure everything is shut down and lights off for her to go to sleep. Otherwise she’s too distracted and stays awake and wants to play and talk and generally keep us from doing anything we want to do.  So we turn off the lights and lay down with her to get her to go to sleep and I’m so tired and exhausted from the day and poor diet already that I usually fall asleep before she does. I wake myself up, but now it’s usually too late to work out. Closing in on midnight. 

Day over. Fat 1, Andy 0.

Rinse and repeat.

Long post, I know… hang with me. It’s almost over. I’ve gotten to the point where I simply must force myself to eat clean. I have to change-up my diet to include more protein. I have to force myself to drink shit tons of water to stay hydrated and keep the hunger pangs at bay. I have to resist the urge to be lazy and instead make my lunches and dinners. Eat healthy foods. Keep a close eye on my calories and macros. Watch my diet like a hawk. Also need to shut things down earlier at night. Get the kids to sleep earlier, so I can go to the gym or running.

So today is Day 1 on the road to recovery. Like Rick says, I must make up lost ground before I can forge new ground. But I’m determined. I won’t let this beat me. I’ll persevere and succeed.

214.0 – Will & Beer is like Peanut Butter & Jelly

image

So I’m up a little and I’m not surprised. My buddy Will moved back to town recently. He’s going through a bit of a rough time right now and asked me if I wanted to grab a few beers with him last night. Being the good friend that I am, I obliged. Ok, fine, I’ll admit it. I was weak and gave in. I really need to work on my will power and saying no… But I digress…

We went out to Hurricane’s (a sports bar/restaurant). They had a live band outside so we made our way out there. We ran into our old manager from when we were 17 years old and worked at Winn Dixie. We hung out and shared some pitchers with him and his wife. We had a good time and it was fun, but today I’m paying the price for poor choices.

So after weighing in this morning, I hit the streets to sweat off some of the alcohol and burn some of the unwanted calories. The temperatures were cooler but check out that humidity! Ugh.
image

I guess the combination of the high humidity and being dehydrated from drinking beer last night was the cause of both of my calves cramping up around the two-mile mark. So I walked an additional two miles. I still need to mow the yard today and I’m starting the second half workouts of Insanity today which are longer and more intense. So plenty of opportunity to shed more fat today. Got to keep the diet in check though – that’s priority #1.

The Fit Gator ran 2 miles, then walked 2 miles with MapMyRun! Overall Distance: 4.10mi, overall time: 56:12, combined pace: 13:43min/mi, speed: 4.37mi/h.
http://mapmyrun.com/workout/333522943

210.8 – Success Breeds Complacency

image

Rick and I having a few beers while playing some darts this past Friday night.

Apparently beer is not an approved food on my “lose-weight-and-get-fit-diet.” Complacency is a bad word. I feel like I have been way too complacent lately and as such, I have not abided by my blog’s motto, “Sacrifice. Dedication. Victory.” SDV.

When I have been successful on this journey, it’s because I did sacrifice. I have sacrificed time – time away from sleep so I could exercise instead – early in the morning on weekends or late at night on weekdays; sacrificed time with friends and family – instead of going to a movie with a friend, I would hit the elliptical. Instead of hanging out and playing with my kids, I went to the gym. Instead of going on a date-night with my wife, I would instead choose to spend that time running around the neighborhood. I’ve sacrificed foods – junk foods, fast food, sodas, and other poor choices that were simply just easier to make. I’ve turned down invitations to go to restaurants with friends to make sure I avoided temptation. I’ve fought the urge to simply get fast food during my lunch break, instead opting to go to my house and take the necessary time to make healthy meals. I’ve sacrificed free lunch at work to eat something healthier. I’ve sacrificed soda which I used to drink multiple times a day. I’ve sacrificed sleep and I’ve sacrificed comfort. All in the name of losing weight, fitness, and getting healthy.

I’ve dedicated myself to a healthier lifestyle. I’ve gone to the gym or running the streets late at night on weekdays when I have to be at work at 6 am. I’ve been dedicated to eating right and avoiding eating poorly. I”ve been dedicated to staying hydrated by drinking tons of water each day. I’ve been dedicated to getting up early to exercise on weekends, even when it’s been too cold, too hot, or too rainy when it would have been so nice to just stay in bed.

When I’ve done all of these things, victory is imminent.  I would win at hitting my weekly target weight goals. I would win the battle against temptation. I would win at overcoming physical limitations that I used to have, like not being able to run a complete 5K without walking. I would win with confidence as people noticed and complimented me about my weight loss.  And I had no doubt that I would win the ultimate FitBet that was driving this journey. 

“Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.”

For over a month I have been way too complacent. This is why I have stalled. This is why I haven’t broken into “Onederland” yet. Either you’re getting better or you’re getting worse. I must get better. No excuses. Time to rededicate myself to the FitGator mantra.

Sacrifice. Dedication. Victory.

206.8 – Official Weigh-In

image

As stated in earlier posts, this week was less than stellar. Diet was poor first half of the week and was only able to get in a couple short cardio routines. Mentally I just wasn’t on board. I was spiraling out of control and didn’t seem to care. But deep inside I really did care. I have come so far. I honestly couldn’t fathom quitting at this point. So I put out a call for help to my wife Rachel and my buddy Rick. In true fashion they were both instrumental in helping me regain my focus, although admittedly it’s still been difficult.

I put in the work the latter half of the week, including in my diet and now I see where I am. 206.8. About 5 big pounds heavier than the 202.0 lb target weight I needed today to remain on task to hit my goal weight by August 30th.

I know it’s a daunting task to reclaim this lost ground in my weight loss, but I honestly feel that I am up for the challenge. Time to grind!

206.6 – Weekly Cheat Meal

Sadly, up a pound and a half from yesterday. Rachel and I went to a restaurant called Po’ Boys last night for dinner.  Due to my improvement in weight loss, I decided to have my weekly cheat meal. We had fried pickles and something called Boom Boom shrimp for appetizers. For my main meal I had chicken tenders and French fries, and yes I had a Coke. It was the un-healthiest of meals but damn, was it delicious. But the high calorie content and no doubt elevated sodium levels contributed to my weight gain this morning.

I can tell that I really haven’t been eating much fried foods the past few months, because afterward this food killed my stomach. Before, when I was fatter and eating stuff like this daily, my stomach was accustomed to it and rarely bothered me. So it’s back to clean eating the remainder of this week. It’s great for my weight loss and just makes me feel better when I eat well.

My target weight for this Saturday’s weigh-in is exactly 202.0 lbs. I’m fairly confident that I can hit that goal with proper nutrition and exercise. My girls are at the in-laws for the week, so I should be able to get in double workouts this week – one in the afternoons when I get off work, and my usual nighttime cardio either at the gym or running through the neighborhood.

Right now I’m about to head up to YouFit for an intense elliptical routine. Bring it!