My weight has remained stagnant for several weeks now. Just teetering below the dreaded 220 mark. I’ve done just enough to make sure to not cross that barrier again, but not nearly enough to start losing the fat on a regular basis like I was early on in my Fit Gator journey. I really wanted to get under 200 lbs for my trip to Gainesville, but that is fast approaching in only 15 days. Blink and it will be here before you know it.
I wasn’t really sure why I’m not losing weight. I mean, yeah, I know physically it’s because of poor nutritional choices and not exercising as much as I should. But I was trying to go deeper. To figure out what mental block has been holding me back. Where is the drive and determination that I used to have? Where has that desire to be the Fit Gator gone?
Some days I have it – that spark. I’ll eat well and exercise my ass off. I’ll lose a couple of pounds and breathe a sigh of relief, “I can still do this.”, Other days I don’t have it. I don’t get enough sleep and I get super lazy and complacent. I don’t prepare or plan out my meals so I eat crap like Subway or Chick-Fil-A. And because I’m so sluggish, I’ll down a Coke in hopes that the caffeine will perk me up. But the sugar rush usually gets me crashing about the time I’m home from work and need to do my Insanity workout. I do the workouts, but often I’m so lethargic that I’ll half-ass them, taking unauthorized breaks when I probably don’t really need to – definitely not ‘digging deeper’ as Shaun T yells at me to do. Then I’ll skip my late night cardio sessions. All this usually leads to a small weight gain the next morning. I see 220 approaching and I force myself to dial it back to make sure I never weigh that much ever again.
On a positive note, I guess that’s better than it was, when there were many more days that I didn’t have any motivation than when I did. But “better than I was” is far from where I need to be. It’s not good enough. It’s still shit. Ah, but there is light at the end of this tunnel…
I had a good talk with my wife Rachel the other night. We analyzed the mental barriers that have been holding me back and how to break through them. We acknowledged that deep within me, that flame of desire still burns. The Fit Bet, the side bets, all of that was there to help motivate me, but they’ve come to discourage me. The countdown of days until the deadline, which was supposed to create a sense of urgency, has ultimately backfired.
Inside my mind, knowing how far behind I got on my weight loss after my mother passed, has caused me to think very negatively. Like “Why even try? There’s physically no way a 40-year-old man can lose that amount of weight in this remaining amount of time.” So I talk myself out of exercising. I talk myself into eating fast food. “I can’t win the bet, so why try?” But Rachel helped me see the big picture. This isn’t about buying Rick some beer or wearing a stupid t-shirt. This isn’t about just hitting a goal weight. This is about getting healthy. This is about adding years to my life. This is about being a role model for my kids. This is about a lifestyle change. This is about living!
SDV.
fit gator 