218.6 – Danger, Will Robinson

Warning!…  Warning!…  Danger, Will Robinson! 

danger-will-robinson2

After getting my weight as low as 205 and on the precipice of breaking back into the 100’s [Onederland] for the first time in nearly a decade and a half, I have dramatically put back on the weight. The reason can be summed up in three words: Diet, diet, diet. I weighed in on Tuesday (didn’t post it) at 214.2. Forgot to weigh in yesterday and last night Rachel and I made the not-so-smart decision to eat Hibachi from a local Japanese steakhouse. I’m sure I ate way too much (calorie wise) and the food is no doubt loaded with sodium.

So here I am … instead of breaking new ground into new frontiers, I’ve lost some serious ground. I’ve fallen off the edge of the fitness cliff, and I’m hanging precariously by a small vine (of hope). I need to stop the bleeding now. Once and for all.

Lately, breakfast has been the issue. I have to eat early since I work at 6am. I have been eating either cereal or PB&J toast with Orange Juice.  Then by 8am I’m usually starving again. Why? Because I’m not ingesting very much protein which helps to keep one fuller longer. Lots of carbs which I apparently burn right through. So then at 8 (I try to hold off until at least 9), I must eat some sort of snack. It used to be a protein bar, but I got burned out on eating those (they taste like crap after a while). So lately I’ve been eating some peanut butter crackers and a Coke (damn you evil soda). More carbs, no protein. As you can guess, that also doesn’t keep me full for long.

By the time my lunch break rolls around (usually around 11:30) I’m starving again. I get in my car and contemplate having to go to my house and take the time associated with actually make something healthy, but the growls from my stomach and mild nausea from being slightly hypoglycemic usually cause me to head to a nearby restaurant instead. It’s quicker to satiate my appetite and hunger. And although I’ve been trying to avoid the usual pitfalls of fast food like McDonald’s or Zaxby’s I do find myself getting Subway or Chick-Fil-A. But I haven’t been stringent about making those meals healthy. At Subway, I’ll generally get chips and a big sweet tea with what is usually a 6″ Tuna on wheat (But sometimes I opt for a foot long – although when that happens, I usually get full after eating about 75% of it).

Then I get off work at 3 and head home to do my Insanity workout. But the Insanity workouts are tough so I eat something for an afternoon snack, usually like a Nutragrain bar or something to give me a quick boost of energy. More carbs, no protein.

So now it’s 4:30. Workout is over. I’ve been up since 5am (likely went to bed too late, 11p or later as usual). I’ve worked all day til 3. I’ve worked out til 4:30. Then I have to pick up my daughter from camp. Home by 5. I’m exhausted, tired. Plop down on the couch to hang with my daughter for a few minutes and to actually take a much needed break. 5:30 hits and my wife is off work and heading to daycare to pick up our other daughter. “What’s for dinner?” she asks. Hell, I don’t know… I’m tired, and much like I do at lunch, the motivation to take the time to cook a healthy meal after my day so far seems quite unappealing. So what do we do? We order Hibachi. Ugh… I can hear me getting fatter just by talking about this…

Dinner’s over. Kids need to be bathed. Laundry needs to be done. Rooms need to be picked up. Dishes washed. Trash taken out… The list continues. Now it’s pushing 9 pm. Kids need to go to sleep, but fight and argue to stay awake and play. I really need to incorporate my night-time cardio workout that seemed to work so well for me – even if it’s now just to counter some of the negative effects I’ve caused by eating poorly. I am literally fighting to simply stay the same weight and not gain weight, don’t even think about losing weight at this pace.

But now more often than not, the late night cardio doesn’t materialize. Since I go to work so early, when the rest of my family sleeps, my wife is solely responsible for getting the kids up, fed, and off to their respective places-o-fun for the day. Often it’s a struggle for her just to make it to her job on time.  I can’t justify not helping her after dinner, cleaning up and helping with the chores which includes making sure the kids are bathed, teeth brushed and asleep. It’s not fair to her. She deals with the arguing and struggles by herself in the morning. Kendall, the eight year old is a piece of cake. She’s tired and wants to go to bed by 9:30 on her own. Drew, our three-year old wants to party until the sun comes up. We literally have to make sure everything is shut down and lights off for her to go to sleep. Otherwise she’s too distracted and stays awake and wants to play and talk and generally keep us from doing anything we want to do.  So we turn off the lights and lay down with her to get her to go to sleep and I’m so tired and exhausted from the day and poor diet already that I usually fall asleep before she does. I wake myself up, but now it’s usually too late to work out. Closing in on midnight. 

Day over. Fat 1, Andy 0.

Rinse and repeat.

Long post, I know… hang with me. It’s almost over. I’ve gotten to the point where I simply must force myself to eat clean. I have to change-up my diet to include more protein. I have to force myself to drink shit tons of water to stay hydrated and keep the hunger pangs at bay. I have to resist the urge to be lazy and instead make my lunches and dinners. Eat healthy foods. Keep a close eye on my calories and macros. Watch my diet like a hawk. Also need to shut things down earlier at night. Get the kids to sleep earlier, so I can go to the gym or running.

So today is Day 1 on the road to recovery. Like Rick says, I must make up lost ground before I can forge new ground. But I’m determined. I won’t let this beat me. I’ll persevere and succeed.

Leave a comment